The people in my life often say, “You should write a
book”, or “Have you thought about writing a book”, or “You should start
a blog.” Are they being nice? Do they mean it? One of my defining
traits is the ability to over-think everything
and become paranoid about people’s motives…I’m a little neurotic. I
can admit it!
Sometimes, it sounds fun. Sometimes, my
imagination runs away from me and I imagine myself as the next Corrie
Ten Boom with tons of people reading what I have to say and finding
inspiration in my story. Most of the time, I think “that
would be nice” and then I go on my way.
I AM NOT A WRITER. Let me say that again. I AM
NOT A WRITER. But, those who know me well know I have a lot to say,
about everything. I am a bit on the shy side, but I form opinions on
just about every topic I hear about. If you give
me the chance, I will share and defend my view on just about anything.
My intensity is proportionate to my passion on the subject. Most of
what I write on FACEBOOK or EMAILS is about subjects that consume my
heart. I write about my family. I write about
my amazing son who struggles with Tourette Syndrome and OCD. I write
about my God, my Savior Jesus Christ, and about how He saved me, how He
changed me and what He is teaching me. That is my favorite subject to
write about, but all three seem to resonate
with people who read what I write.
Sometimes the mood hits me and I feel like Jeremiah
when he said the words became like fire shut up inside. That happens
to me sometimes, and I pour it out… mostly in my journal; sometimes in
email, sometimes on FACEBOOK.
When people say, “you should write a blog”, I just say thank you and nod my head. There are reasons I resist.
1. I didn’t feel directed to do so... plain and
simple. My life is complicated by Tourette Sydrome, working a full time
job, taking care of my family and participating on the worship team at
my church. This leads to reason number 2.
2. I didn’t want to commit to having to keep up
with a blog. I don’t know if I can consistently write often enough to
keep it current. But, Jason, my voice of reason, said “You don’t have
to. Just keep it for you, write when you want
to.” So simple, so wise.
3. I have terrible grammar. This same “voice of
reason" I mentioned before likes to point that out. If I’m going to put
my thoughts out into cyberspace, where they can be googled and come
back to haunt me later, then I want to make sure
they are grammatically correct. But, I have my Jason who will help
me!
4. I feel stupid and exposed. I read comment sections. Do I really want to open myself up that that kind of abuse?!
