A pediatric neurologist diagnosed my only child, Timothy,
with Tourette Sydrome when he was 8years old.
My heart sunk as he confirmed what I feared for over a year. Tim’s case is severe and renders him
dysfunctional sometimes. He cannot walk
or talk. When Tim was diagnosed my heart
broke to a depth I have never experienced.
The wound still opens from time to time and my heart bleeds when I watch
the most basic task of holding a toothbrush become a 15minute challenge as he
brushes his teeth or a quick five minute walk across a high school parking lot
turn into a 45minute challenge that involves me holding him up and helping him
until I reach his assistant that follows him through the school day. Tears often flow and it feels like blood is
pouring from my heart as I watch his assistant hold him up and walk him down
the halls of his school. Someday, I will
go into the ins and outs of Tourette Sydrome. http://www.tourettetexas.org/
As Christmas approaches I think of Mary. Any Bible belt native does. I never viewed the life of Jesus through a
mother’s eyes until recently. I think
about the roller coaster she rode being the Savior’s mother. In Luke 1 the angels announce His birth and
all of these miraculous events unfolded as the Son of God made His entrance to
the world as a baby. How exciting to see
this glorious portion of His journey.
I wonder when the sickening realization hit her that her
first born Son was born to die, be crucified, and die a criminal’s death. I ache with her when I read about His torture
and mockery from the very people He was dying to save. I thought about her as she watched helplessly
from the foot of the cross as Jesus agonized for every breath he took, much
like I watch my son often struggle for every step he takes.
I can’t count the number of times I have cried and raged,
“This isn’t fair”, or “Tim does NOT DESERVE THIS.” How often did Mary want to scream that very
same thing?
“How can it be Your plan, God, to make Tim look like a
freak?” I have asked this. Tim has asked this.
“How can it be Your plan that Your very own begotten son
looks like a fool and a criminal”. I don’t
know if Mary thought this, but I know I would.
How hard it is sometimes to accept that God’s road for us
leads through peaks AND valleys.
Glorious miracles AND blind trust knowing His Word IS TRUE. THAT HE IS GOOD BECAUSE HIS WORD SAYS HE IS.
I wonder at what point did Mary lay down her dreams and
plans for her Son and surrender them to the divine purpose that God put in
place from the very beginning, before the foundation of the world was
lain. I wonder when I will find the
strength to trust Tim’s fate to the hands of the One who designed His life from
the beginning.
#MarythemotherofJesus
